Y no te sientas mal pequeña...

Una chica dijo:

"Es injusto que si un tipo se tira a miles de viejas en un año es una leyenda, pero que si una mujer lo hace con dos hombres es una puta"

Y que le contestan:

"Si una llave abre muchos candados entonces es una llave maestra, pero si un candado es abierto por muchas llaves entonces es un candado muy jodido."

Todo es cuestion de perspectiva

LOL

*Chiste sacado de emmm de donde más?! de internet! :D

Suddenly... Bananas!

Some times we can lose focus about what is important in this life mostly because we are not aware all the time what is what are we doing or why.

"Today was a cold day and I was there waiting for my bus which would take me home, thinking about everything and nothing when this thought come from nowhere while I starred at me in a glass from a store.

who am I?"


And was there when I realized I was wrong. I was enjoying all this success, that's true but I reach a point where I didn't feel like before.
First of all I wasn't hungry anymore, I had better clothes, less debts and even I bought a motorcycle!

Its like when a boxer gives his best of himself to be the very best and once he succeeds just lay down and stop making any efforts to be better, when just right behind him are all this guys struggling to be the best too.

I feel like that boxer, looking into another direction, wasting my time...

I tried to fill the blanks... I asked this girl to move to my place, fuck, I even ask her to marry me but she refused twice (Maybe that wasn't meant to be), so then I tried buying nice things but that didn't work either.

I don't know where am I but what I know now is what I am missing, I need to keep my distance from some people and retake old habits, visit old friends, be me again.

Because I'm the fancy and corny version of myself. And I don't like that... I don't like it at all.

Circuito norte

Resulta que salí del cine y estaba esperando el micro para irme a mi casa donde al principio habia mucha gente, hacia frio y estaba parado con mi típica pose de la victoria (como sí fuera una especie de super héroe en la torre más alta del universo siendo alabado por alguna gran victoria. Digo para darnos todos una idea de como me veía... En pocas palabras bien chido.)
Al principio fue fácil, todavia no calaba el frio, habia mucha gente a mi alrededor y el micro pasaría en cualquier momento... Pero eso nunca sucedió, nadamas veía como se iba la gente en los demás micros pero el mío pues nada que no pasaba!
Pinche chingadera -pensé en un principio- total que mande todo al diablo porque prácticamente estaba yo sólo ahí parado :-C ya todos se habían ido. Entonces ya no me quedo otra que cruzarme la calle para agarrar 3 camiones! Y con lo caro que cobran esos weyes deberían de dejarme en la puerta de mi casa, es más deberían de dejarme en la cama arropado, hacerme de cenar y toda la cosa. Bueno ya dejare esto para luego porque estoy esperando otro camion y ya se me entumieron los dedos. Puto frio que se viene sin avisar!

Esta entrada ha sido cortesía de telcel y escrita desde mi blackberry.
Mayor productividad donde quiera que estoy con mi oficina móvil.

damn! :(

@4chan

WIN!

Jay: Well, she was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir.
Zed: How’d you come to that conclusion?
Jay: Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the street light, and then I realised, you know, he’s just working out. How would I feel if someone came running into the gym, bust me in my ass while I’m on the treadmill? Then I saw this… snarling beast guy, and I noticed that he had a tissue in his hand, and I realised: he’s not snarling - he’s sneezing. You know, ain’t a real threat, there. And then I saw little Tiffany. You know… eight year old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night, with quantum physics books? She’s about to start some shit, Zed. She’s about eight years old, those books are way too advanced for her.

Sometimes..

sometimes I just hit the keyboard because I don't have anything better to do, so, by doing this y boss usually thinks that I'm working....

Like this:
ajsnsjnf saidfmacmasimdfaf nvuqwherio jsadfoijsadfi asrf232398 sdflsfañileḱvf'w¿'4tj fersdñlifg rijaskfmv

shit, I feel like a fucking secretary ksñljmfd vlñkf kal mf apisjgmvo ŕeok qwpjqwt9 visdj a8se iot miadf

Look, Look! all my fingers moving! nsdf oamsf vqwoimfq vwifjwqe ṕwej 90f40iv sdoifnisaoefiwme qweq
asdf
sad f
ksaf wairsjf qij vifwqrifj miperiwapmf ijfqjcqpwjfsjf ijfqoiajf j

from time to time, move the mouse and click at randoms parts of the screen.

adjsnfasdmf asefiaeslfcqwe
sfd ndsf ed fqwrj9jrg 58h0 4gn irg ijsdf wtr j 9t sfij 395u gqenrgt ojskv wesdf asokasofke jsef qw jerq4rvm'wrv 9wjr


FUCK
YEAH.

Final Presentation Nazi mode.

This is the full, uncensored version of what I tell as a final presentation on my english course.

What I would do If were president of Mexico.

First, the situation: Total madness, but this isn’t sparta.

This country is fucked up wherever you look at it, poor people are dumber every day, and rich people are getting richer every day. That’s a fact. Mexicans wants to have a nice living without moving a finger, this is a country where people have to screw other people to succeed, this is a country where morals and civics values are just in school books. This place is completely wrong.

So?

Iif this shit isn’t working what should we do? First of all we need someone with the idea and the guts to do what is needed to be done, someone who every Mexican can rely on, someone who aren’t already poisoned by politics or avid of power and money.

To try to explain what I would fix in this hell hole (aka Mexico) I will go step by step.

1.- GEOPOLITICAL DIVISION: Divide and win.

Yeah, you read it well beaners, the first thing what we have to do is divide –politically- Mexico in something like 6 sectors: north east-west, south east-west, central north-south electing a president, senators, etc for each sector, and by doing this we will be de-centralizing all the power, all the responsibility but keeping one “coordinator” (which is like the president of presidents) who will be managing all the sectors but without having a total and absolute power.

You know what they say: divide and win.

By doing this every Mexican sector will be able to develop their own potential (like industrial potential in the north or eco-touristic potential at the south) also this will be scenario for a healthy “competition” but at the same time helping each sector to others sectors.

2.- Taxes.

It’s well known for most people that government is always trying to get the shit out of the rich class just because they have the money, but (in theory) this class has money because they are hard workers where at some point they were poor, so, why they have to pay higher taxes? Fuck no, taxes should be charged in an equal way, and maybe lowering taxes could means more tax payers. And by having more tax payers I mean more money so the government can do more, like more jobs and a better lifestyle, by doing this the diference between one class and another will be reduced or less clear.

3.- Meanwhile in nobodygivesacrap land…

Speaking about money, what about how much a politic gets paid for his poor, lame, mediocre, stinky, and very bad done job? Well, they earn a lot!!! A lot of money, while normal people is being killed at the streets this fuckers have a lot of mandatory benefits and that’s not fair! They make more money in one month than the 40% of the rest of the Mexican population could make in a whole year!

So this takes me to the next.

4.- Politics incoming: They steal from this conuntry and they get paid for it... wait, what?

Politics make plenty of money without moving a fucking lazy fat finger, just by “taking decisions” but, hey! Guess what?! Your decisions suck! And that is why if I were a president all the politics salaries must be cut by a 30-40% take that! And maybe someone could say: “If you cut their salaries, what kind of people should we have as governors” well, probably we could find an asshole or two working as a politic but despite of the smartness of the person, we have a person who really cares for this country and the welfare of his Mexicans brothers. Also if anyone has noticed: we have so many assholes in our government right now that the whole Mexico city stinks!

5.- education: Ohh sweet Jesus buttfucking Christ!

Something that this country need is education!! Our younger generations are being raising so stupid that if we don’t do something quick we are heading to a massive failure, people don’t read, don’t think by themselves, just are like sheep which go where they are told to go, a mass that can be shaped how those high class groups wants to.

So, we need more education –a real one- which enforces to student to think using their own heads creating new ideas to take the country into a next level of development.

We need to educate our children with the awareness of moral values, civic values, they have to learn not to harm to each others not because that is wrong (which is wrong) but teaching them why is wrong and avoid to all cost that class of behaviors.

6- Religion: Fairy tales for grown ups, LOL.

If something is fucking harder this country as the politicians do is the church (of any kind of religion) butting in every non religious business, if we can take down the church, we could do more than worrying to go to hell or avoiding to take decisions because is wrong (for the church of course)

Arm people: Using licences and just small guns.

Becuase one of the main reasons of why the population is so scared is because right now they're unarmed, so this means that if someone has a little stapler gun, this persons has the power to do what ever he wants to do and noone can do shit about it, but what if a lot of people has a small gun on their pockets, just for protection, when an asshole carring an ak-47 show up he should be taken down by someone with a gun, because while he had a big gun, a lot of people with little guns do a bigger gun! :D

And I could keep going about what should I change (which are a lot of changes) like legalize death sentences and abortions, taking all homeless and recruiting them to the army (but washing their brains first with the idea that they must die for their country over all other things like money or power) at the end this persons will end having food and a ceiling over their heads and so on.

And that's it...

I'm willing to give the people what they need, not what they want.

In other words: fuck you Felipe Calderón.

I'm not a unicorn person.

Tonight I'm going to talk about why I'm atheist, actually... I'm not an atheist, because I have my own belief, my own way to see how things work and from my point of view If you think you are so important that this "mystic", "powerful", "Omnipresent" god will be watching your back all the time is stupid and selfish.

I hate when people humanize that entity, I'm not denying that something like that exist, It's just I don't think "it" exist as the way how most people see it: like a person with its own thoughts and feelings (good ones and bad ones), like if you do "good things" you will have rewards or if you do "bad things" you will be punished for it.

So, what do I believe in? well, this is my belief... Starting form something demonstrable, "scientific" or something that you can really think of in terms of things that you can see or touch, is the Energy. But "How am I supposed to touch or see energy?" is what your silly and short mind could be thinking, well, energy is everywhere around you! everything is composed by chemical elements whom once they get together, they mean something like a rock, like a plant, like yourself because if you didn't notice all this time, you are all composed by chemical molecules (but what determines "what is what" its where science fails -for now-) and at the end all resumes to energy.

So energy is around us all the time, all of our lives, but the kind of energy depends just of how we are with the life itself, I mean: If you are a mean, cruel, heartless person surely you will finish fucked up and this is not beacuse some allmighty bastard whitout nothing important to do desires like that, It's beacause mean or cruel acts atract mean/cruel energy and this is the way how "life" put things in its own place. On the other hand if you are a lovely motherfucker who always is nice, care and help others without expecting anything in exchange your life coud be pretty much easy or good, because you surround yourself with this "good" energy, actually is not good energy, is the kind of energy wich attracts nice things, like a chain where one thing lead to another.

As I said before, there's no good or bad energy, like good or evil or heaven and hell, we are the only ones responsible for what happen to us. And that is what I believe, that's the reason why I don't go to church, I don't respect anyone with fancy tunics, and more important: I will never be on my knees showing my respect for no one, maybe this is the reason why I'm always happy, my life is good, I have good friends and a job I like. What am I traying to say here is: be nice, smile to unknown people, help others, say I love you a lot, kiss in every chance you get, love like if you there's no tomorrow... Perhaps this isn't warranty of happiness but its a good beginning.

Hero of the day

Y entonces en medio de aquel desastre, nadie sabia que hacer todos corrian de un lado para otro, aunque teníamos un controlador de dominio secundario, el servidor web seguia caido y mi jefe no sabía que hacer... "reincia el servidor como lo hacemos con windows" dijo "Apagalo y vuelvelo a prender" exclamo trando de clarificar un poco más su frase anterior, entonces me levante bruscamente, me arranque la camisa de un solo jalón y apretando fuertemente un cuchillo de caza en la boca le dije:

"No! lo levantaré manualmente desde una terminal!!"

El resto de los demas windows-eros no creían lo que veían sus ojos, de hecho los usuarios de mac ni siquiera sabian que estaba pasando...

Al final salvé el día y es, al día de hoy, uno de eso recuerdos que en ocasiones alguien suele traer entre platica y platica pero ya solo es para reirnos de todo eso.

La jodidez

Venía en el micro pensando en muchas tonterías cuando empecé a notar a mi alrededor la jodidez de todo, especialmente la de las construcciones, que están todas llenas de tierra, despintadas, gastadas y viejas.
Me puse a pensar entonces arerca de como es la gente a quién no le preocupa para nada ese tipo de cosas, quienes tienen la idea de que las cosas deben ser usadas hasta que se rompan. Como el micro donde vengo por ejemplo, que ya ha tenido que bajarse en dos ocasiones el conductor a ver que carajos es lo que le truena, que cada que se detiene a levantar pasaje pareciera que no va a volver a moverse de nuevo, y todavía cobran el pasaje tan caro como sí el micro fuera nuevo! Ok ok pero era ya es otra historia. Total que asi es la gente de vale madrista, que no tiene cultura de prevención, que son ignorantes y peor aún: ignoran que lo son, gente sin idea que sólo se limita a quejarse sin hacer nada, que espera que el gobierno resuelva todo, que quieren tenerlo todo sin sacrificar y sin esforzarse para nada. Hoy por hoy esos son los mexicanos. Que mal.

Edito:
Y así lo dejo con ese formato porque inicialmente lo empecé a escribir desde mi celular.