14 marzo 2011

Mexican't


Este fin de semana he confirmado algo que sabía desde hace mucho tiempo: No me gusta que me digan que no.

Y no precisamente en el sentido de: "Mamí quiero una paleta" -"no." sino más bien en el sentido pusilanime que tienen algunas personas de relacionarse con otras. Entonces me dí cuenta de que esto ya no me afecta como antes cuando tenía amigos con los que iba y les decía: "Hey porque no hacemos esto o lo otro" y entre bostezos me contestaban que no, que "que hueva" (lo cual por cierto es bastante irritante -cuando no tengo weba yo también- jojojo) y es que antes cuando llegaba con alguna idea para hacer algo y me contestaban con cosas como esa, me desanimaban al grado de que ya no quería hacer nada tampoco.

Pero esta vez, ahora, ya no pasa así, pero no tanto porque no me rodee de ese tipo de gente (que por alguna razón siguen a mi alrededor) sino porque simplemente digo: al carajo, si no quieres pues lo haré yo solo.

Ahora una lista de frases que me he dado cuenta que no me gustan:

* No puedo.
* Estoy cansado.
* Tengo flojera.
* Hasta aquí.
* Tengo sueño.
* Ya me cansé.

17 febrero 2011

Clima loco.


Bueno despues de muchos días de sufrir terriblemente, parece que el frío ya está pasando o al menos eso espero porque para los que no lo sepan, a nosotros los Sergios no nos gusta el frío, no se puede hacer nada ni ir a ningún lado a menos que uno vaya cargado de muchisima ropa, la cual tenemos que quitarnos al llegar a cualquier lado porque dentro de las casas está calientito.

A menos claro que seas gordo porque es bien sabido que a los gordos les gusta mucho el frío, porque lo toleran, no soportan el calor, yo creo que es más bien dado a una condición que yo denonino: "Efecto oso polar".

Me explico:
Los osos polares no tienen que padecer frío principalmente porque les cubren capas y capas de grasa que matienen sus organos calientitos por eso pueden andar donde sea comiendo pinguinos sin preocuparse porque les de gripa ¬¬

En fin, parece que este clima gelido por fin ya se va de la zona porque si me estaba jodiendo bastante, me la pasé enfermo casi todo diciembre y un par de días no vine a trabajar de lo mal que estaba (aunque a veces no vengo a trabajar simplemente porque no me da la gana, pero esa ya es otra historia)

Hacía mucho que no teniamos tanto frío por acá, yo creo que es una reacción de la misma naturaleza al hecho de que ya somos demasiadas personas en la tierra y entonces la -sabia- naturaleza lo que hace es presionar a los seres humanos al limite de modo que solo los más fuertes (fuertes economicamente hablando en este caso) sobrevivan muriendose los pobres que no tienen para ponerse una sabana o cobertor encima :D!

Y antes de que empiecen con cosas como: "Sergio que cruel eres" y la madre, les voy a decir: así es la naturaleza, deal with it. Es como en africa que los leones se comen las zebras, elefantes, mapaches (basicamente todo lo que se les venga en gana) y nadie dice: ay pobrecito animal! claro que no! es la naturaleza en acción payasos! dhuuu!

08 febrero 2011

El niño y la mar.

Estaba yo en mi escritorio hasta la madre de trabajo y que me habla un contador, de esos weyes que chingan mucho la madre pero que a la vez nos llevamos muy bien xoxo

-heeey no tengo internet, ven a checar mi computadora
-Ahm si si we, mira, lo que tienes que hacer es reinciarla.

5 min despues

-Hey sigo sin internet ni messenger ni correo ni nada, ven a ver mi computadora
-si, ahorita voy

10 min despues

-No tengo messenger ni puedo abrir nada, que pedo con mi computadora?!
-mmm no sé we, reniciala.

5 min despues

-Wey sigo sin internet!
-reincia tu computadora :D!
-Pero si ya la reinicié dos veces!
-Ah, es que tienes que reinciarla más fuerte ^o^
-chtm ven a mi lugar


Y así su paciencia fue premiada con mi presencia en su cubiculo para hacer clic derecho en la conexión de red y luego clic en "Diagnosticar y reparar".

;D

hahahaha

20 enero 2011

Y no te sientas mal pequeña...


Una chica dijo:

"Es injusto que si un tipo se tira a miles de viejas en un año es una leyenda, pero que si una mujer lo hace con dos hombres es una puta"

Y que le contestan:

"Si una llave abre muchos candados entonces es una llave maestra, pero si un candado es abierto por muchas llaves entonces es un candado muy jodido."

Todo es cuestion de perspectiva

LOL

*Chiste sacado de emmm de donde más?! de internet! :D

12 enero 2011

Suddenly... Bananas!


Some times we can lose focus about what is important in this life mostly because we are not aware all the time what is what are we doing or why.

"Today was a cold day and I was there waiting for my bus which would take me home, thinking about everything and nothing when this thought come from nowhere while I starred at me in a glass from a store.

who am I?"


And was there when I realized I was wrong. I was enjoying all this success, that's true but I reach a point where I didn't feel like before.
First of all I wasn't hungry anymore, I had better clothes, less debts and even I bought a motorcycle!

Its like when a boxer gives his best of himself to be the very best and once he succeeds just lay down and stop making any efforts to be better, when just right behind him are all this guys struggling to be the best too.

I feel like that boxer, looking into another direction, wasting my time...

I tried to fill the blanks... I asked this girl to move to my place, fuck, I even ask her to marry me but she refused twice (
Maybe that wasn't meant to be), so then I tried buying nice things but that didn't work either.

I don't know where am I but what I know now is what I am missing, I need to keep my distance from some people and retake old habits, visit old friends, be me again.

Because I'm the fancy and corny version of myself. And I don't like that... I don't like it at all.

25 diciembre 2010

Circuito norte

Resulta que salí del cine y estaba esperando el micro para irme a mi casa donde al principio habia mucha gente, hacia frio y estaba parado con mi típica pose de la victoria (como sí fuera una especie de super héroe en la torre más alta del universo siendo alabado por alguna gran victoria. Digo para darnos todos una idea de como me veía... En pocas palabras bien chido.)
Al principio fue fácil, todavia no calaba el frio, habia mucha gente a mi alrededor y el micro pasaría en cualquier momento... Pero eso nunca sucedió, nadamas veía como se iba la gente en los demás micros pero el mío pues nada que no pasaba!
Pinche chingadera -pensé en un principio- total que mande todo al diablo porque prácticamente estaba yo sólo ahí parado :-C ya todos se habían ido. Entonces ya no me quedo otra que cruzarme la calle para agarrar 3 camiones! Y con lo caro que cobran esos weyes deberían de dejarme en la puerta de mi casa, es más deberían de dejarme en la cama arropado, hacerme de cenar y toda la cosa. Bueno ya dejare esto para luego porque estoy esperando otro camion y ya se me entumieron los dedos. Puto frio que se viene sin avisar!

Esta entrada ha sido cortesía de telcel y escrita desde mi blackberry.
Mayor productividad donde quiera que estoy con mi oficina móvil.

14 diciembre 2010

damn! :(


@4chan

WIN!




Jay:
Well, she was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir.
Zed: How’d you come to that conclusion?
Jay: Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the street light, and then I realised, you know, he’s just working out. How would I feel if someone came running into the gym, bust me in my ass while I’m on the treadmill? Then I saw this… snarling beast guy, and I noticed that he had a tissue in his hand, and I realised: he’s not snarling - he’s sneezing. You know, ain’t a real threat, there. And then I saw little Tiffany. You know… eight year old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night, with quantum physics books? She’s about to start some shit, Zed. She’s about eight years old, those books are way too advanced for her.

10 diciembre 2010

Sometimes..

sometimes I just hit the keyboard because I don't have anything better to do, so, by doing this y boss usually thinks that I'm working....

Like this:
ajsnsjnf saidfmacmasimdfaf nvuqwherio jsadfoijsadfi asrf232398 sdflsfañileḱvf'w¿'4tj fersdñlifg rijaskfmv

shit, I feel like a fucking secretary ksñljmfd vlñkf kal mf apisjgmvo ŕeok qwpjqwt9 visdj a8se iot miadf

Look, Look! all my fingers moving! nsdf oamsf vqwoimfq vwifjwqe ṕwej 90f40iv sdoifnisaoefiwme qweq
asdf
sad f
ksaf wairsjf qij vifwqrifj miperiwapmf ijfqjcqpwjfsjf ijfqoiajf j

from time to time, move the mouse and click at randoms parts of the screen.

adjsnfasdmf asefiaeslfcqwe
sfd ndsf ed fqwrj9jrg 58h0 4gn irg ijsdf wtr j 9t sfij 395u gqenrgt ojskv wesdf asokasofke jsef qw jerq4rvm'wrv 9wjr


FUCK
YEAH.

08 diciembre 2010

Final Presentation Nazi mode.

This is the full, uncensored version of what I tell as a final presentation on my english course.

What I would do If were president of Mexico.

First, the situation: Total madness, but this isn’t sparta.

This country is fucked up wherever you look at it, poor people are dumber every day, and rich people are getting richer every day. That’s a fact. Mexicans wants to have a nice living without moving a finger, this is a country where people have to screw other people to succeed, this is a country where morals and civics values are just in school books. This place is completely wrong.


So?

Iif this shit isn’t working what should we do? First of all we need someone with the idea and the guts to do what is needed to be done, someone who every Mexican can rely on, someone who aren’t already poisoned by politics or avid of power and money.


To try to explain what I would fix in this hell hole (aka Mexico) I will go step by step.

1.- GEOPOLITICAL DIVISION: Divide and win.

Yeah, you read it well beaners, the first thing what we have to do is divide –politically- Mexico in something like 6 sectors: north east-west, south east-west, central north-south electing a president, senators, etc for each sector, and by doing this we will be de-centralizing all the power, all the responsibility but keeping one “coordinator” (which is like the president of presidents) who will be managing all the sectors but without having a total and absolute power.

You know what they say: divide and win.

By doing this every Mexican sector will be able to develop their own potential (like industrial potential in the north or eco-touristic potential at the south) also this will be scenario for a healthy “competition” but at the same time helping each sector to others sectors.


2.- Taxes.

It’s well known for most people that government is always trying to get the shit out of the rich class just because they have the money, but (in theory) this class has money because they are hard workers where at some point they were poor, so, why they have to pay higher taxes? Fuck no, taxes should be charged in an equal way, and maybe lowering taxes could means more tax payers. And by having more tax payers I mean more money so the government can do more, like more jobs and a better lifestyle, by doing this the diference between one class and another will be reduced or less clear.


3.- Meanwhile in nobodygivesacrap land…

Speaking about money, what about how much a politic gets paid for his poor, lame, mediocre, stinky, and very bad done job? Well, they earn a lot!!! A lot of money, while normal people is being killed at the streets this fuckers have a lot of mandatory benefits and that’s not fair! They make more money in one month than the 40% of the rest of the Mexican population could make in a whole year!


So this takes me to the next.

4.- Politics incoming: They steal from this conuntry and they get paid for it... wait, what?

Politics make plenty of money without moving a fucking lazy fat finger, just by “taking decisions” but, hey! Guess what?! Your decisions suck! And that is why if I were a president all the politics salaries must be cut by a 30-40% take that! And maybe someone could say: “If you cut their salaries, what kind of people should we have as governors” well, probably we could find an asshole or two working as a politic but despite of the smartness of the person, we have a person who really cares for this country and the welfare of his Mexicans brothers. Also if anyone has noticed: we have so many assholes in our government right now that the whole Mexico city stinks!

5.- education: Ohh sweet Jesus buttfucking Christ!

Something that this country need is education!! Our younger generations are being raising so stupid that if we don’t do something quick we are heading to a massive failure, people don’t read, don’t think by themselves, just are like sheep which go where they are told to go, a mass that can be shaped how those high class groups wants to.

So, we need more education –a real one- which enforces to student to think using their own heads creating new ideas to take the country into a next level of development.

We need to educate our children with the awareness of moral values, civic values, they have to learn not to harm to each others not because that is wrong (which is wrong) but teaching them why is wrong and avoid to all cost that class of behaviors.

6- Religion: Fairy tales for grown ups, LOL.

If something is fucking harder this country as the politicians do is the church (of any kind of religion) butting in every non religious business, if we can take down the church, we could do more than worrying to go to hell or avoiding to take decisions because is wrong (for the church of course)

Arm people: Using licences and just small guns.

Becuase one of the main reasons of why the population is so scared is because right now they're unarmed, so this means that if someone has a little stapler gun, this persons has the power to do what ever he wants to do and noone can do shit about it, but what if a lot of people has a small gun on their pockets, just for protection, when an asshole carring an ak-47 show up he should be taken down by someone with a gun, because while he had a big gun, a lot of people with little guns do a bigger gun! :D

And I could keep going about what should I change (which are a lot of changes) like legalize death sentences and abortions, taking all homeless and recruiting them to the army (but washing their brains first with the idea that they must die for their country over all other things like money or power) at the end this persons will end having food and a ceiling over their heads and so on.



And that's it...

I'm willing to give the people what they need, not what they want.


In other words: fuck you Felipe Calderón.